By: Shallin Squire
For *Destiny, the year 2010 could be summed up simply: a transformation. When circumstances beyond her control began to change, Destiny committed to improving what was within her power to change: her health.
Already facing family problems, Destiny woke up one morning in March and took a long, honest look in the mirror. "I didn't like what I saw," she stated. But her self-contempt lay deeper than her physical appearance: "I hadn't been true to myself or my heritage for a long time," she explained.
Destiny committed to do whatever was necessary to turn that reflection in the mirror into someone she could love, but she wasn't sure exactly how to begin. A couple of days later, she was getting ready for work when she heard an ad on the radio for a fitness boot camp at a nearby gym. Immediately she knew that was the first step she wanted to take, and she enrolled in the boot camp. By May she had completed that and finished her first 5k race. "I didn't finish first, but I didn't finish last, either," she reported. "It took me 33 minutes to finish. I did it, and I ran the whole time. It may not have been fast, but it feels terrific to finish a race."
Although she has lost 10-12 pounds and is noticeably more toned, Destiny's favorite aspect of what she describes as a physical "transformation" is the energy and confidence she's gained. "I used to feel so sluggish," she said. "Now I have more energy, and I feel better about myself."
Since that fateful morning in March, Destiny has completed 4 boot camps and run seven 5k races. "In my last race of the year, I came in at 27 minutes," she reported, excitedly. However, Destiny readily admits that she has gained more than stamina. "It's unbelievable how far I've come, not just with the physical challenges, but in other aspects of my life as well. I've made a lot of friends through boot camp," she said. "Also, the trainers are always there to cheer me on, and they've helped me through some difficult times, whether they know it or not. "
One of those "difficult times" occurred one night in June. Destiny had an argument with a close acquaintance. "I had confided in him, but the conversation went array, and ultimately I felt deeply hurt and angry with that person."
Destiny returned to her home after the argument. "I cooled off, watched a movie, and went to bed," she said. "A few hours later, I was rudely awakened by a pounding on my door. Policemen stormed my house, barking out instructions and barely giving me time to get dressed before they ordered me to a cop car and hauled me off to the hospital." Struggling to make sense of what was happening, Destiny was mortified to learn that the acquaintance with whom she'd argued had called the police and claimed he thought Destiny was suicidal.
"It was horrible, a nightmare, a joke!" she described. "I was suddenly in the psych ward of the hospital being bombarded with questions." At first, Destiny said nothing to the hospital attendants who seemed to be full of questions but lacking in patience and genuine concern. "I didn't feel that I owed them any explanations. I wasn't suicidal. I acknowledge now how upset I was at that point, but I didn't even feel depressed. I simply disagreed with some people who I thought were my friends." Destiny sat silently for a time, but realized that because she was being held at the hospital against her will, she wouldn't be able to go home–which was all she really desired at that point–until she "told them what they wanted to hear." So she did, over and over, until the psychologist was convinced she wasn't going to harm herself. She returned home the next morning, feeling utterly disgusted, betrayed and abandoned.
With the majority of her trust in others shattered, and therefore afraid to confide in anyone, Destiny realized she needed a way to release the anger she stored inside. Once again, she looked for a healthy way to rid herself of something she disliked. Knowing that music could provide the outlet she sought, Destiny signed up for guitar lessons. She also reinvested some of her time in an old hobby: writing poetry. Destiny is progressing as a musician and posts some of her poems on her blog, where family and friends are invited to read them. "Some people find my poems dark and depressing, but they provide hope and healing for me," she stated.
As she begins 2011, Destiny is staying true to her commitments to herself and is much happier with what she sees when she takes that long, honest look in the mirror. She plans to continue enrolling in boot camps, and as of the day this article was typed, she has earned her first "dog tag" for doing 310 full sit ups. She also plans to continue running 5k races, and her specific goal is to average a 6.5 minute mile (she has about a minute and a half to go!). She spends "anywhere from half an hour to several hours" practicing the guitar every day, and she has set specific musical goals as well. Destiny vows to embrace the ups and downs that will surely come with a new year and to find healthy ways to deal with both.
Destiny is an inspiration to those who know her, and I hope she's now inspired some of our wonderful Healthy Edge readers as well. Most of us sit down and set goals for the New Year, but how many of us keep the promises we make to ourselves? Will this be your year of transformation? Only you can take that long, honest look in the mirror and decide...but please let us know how we can help, and please share your successful transformations with us. Email us any time!
Happy New Year!
Shallin
shallin@theedgemagazine.org
*Real name changed at "Destiny's" request
